Faithfulness

"The sun sets and He has provided and you've ate. 

Tomorrow the sun will rise and again He will provide. 

You will eat bread again."

~Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn

We've all done the math.  You know what I'm talking about.  Those months when the paycheck comes just a few days too late.  We can scrape it all together, and there just might be enough to hold us until next payday.

This month I chose faith.  I prayed.  I accepted that God is bigger.  And I had peace. 

Then, for some reason, my logger came home with a check today.  It was an unexpected blessing.  He did end up getting some days on this pay period.  We are blessed.  God is faithful. 



He has blessed today.  Will He not bless again tomorrow?

Painful Honesty

I feel the need to be perfect.  Not really perfect, but you know, without flaws.  I have an overwhelming feeling of shame when I make mistakes.  I need to learn to dance without shame.

I feel I have nothing of value to say.
Constructive criticism hurts.  I wish I handled it better, but there is always a small part in my fragile heart that takes it too personally. 

Yet, in order to grow, it hurts.  Right?  Growing pains, growing pains. 

Stress..."Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1  Stress brings no joy.  Tonight I have been pondering this from chapter 8

If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is an act of disbelief...atheism.

Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism.

If I deep trusted God in all the facets of my life, wouldn't that deep heal my anxiety, my self-condemnation, my soul holes?

70. Backseat laughter and special sibling moments

73. Smell of rain

77. A God who meets me where I am

78. A husband who loves me

80. Parents who taught me about God

93. Bubbles on a windy day

100. A homemade quilt

103. New recipes


All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A few things that make me smile

Getting back to the basics, eating healthy, clothes hanging on my new clothesline, making granola for my family, sleeping babies, springtime flowers, enjoying our rooster crowing...

it's nothing short of...amazing!

Farm fresh eggs...

Free-range chickens....

Darling rooster...

Goofy children...

And overall, watching my kids grow up on a farm...

Two

30. That we are allowed two

Here dies another day

During which I have had eyes, ears, hands

And the great world round me;

And with tomorrow begins another.

Why am I allowed two?

~G.K Chesterton

Why are we allowed two?

Every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I don't see God, I'll bow down before something else.

Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing.

I have noticed I am taking time.  Time to stop.  To see.  To appreciate.  Time to offer silent prayers of thanksgiving, gratitude.  And I am starting to see the world through different eyes.  The little things in life really are the big things, aren't they?  Little girls' hand in mine, laughter through the window on a sunny day, stormy nights at home as a family, popcorn warmed on the stove, little boys picking flowers, tents to hide in, early morning coffee...does the list ever end?  It's really not about how much needs done, the mess that never seems to end, the seemingly always dirty mirrors or floors, or unending piles of dishes or laundry.  And when I change my perspective, aren't those also blessings?  Isn't it an honor to be able to bless my family?  While I can keep this perspective for this moment, I admit, I may fail in the moment to come.  It is so easy to slip back into old ways, habits, sin.  But for right now, today, in this moment, I will pray with my eyes wide open.  And I will be thankful that I am allowed more.

Life is dessert -- too brief to hurry

22. Handmade soap
23. Freshly picked flowers

29. First buds in spring

34. A supportive husband who lets me do what I love most....being a mommy who gets to stay home

38. Roosters crowing

40. Laughter

The one phrase I hear myself repeating over and over to my kids "Hurry up!" hurry up and...hurry up or we'll be late...hurry up its bedtime...hurry, hurry, hurry. I am rarely (if ever?) late. People are impressed. They don't realize it is actually in insecurity of mine. While it is commendable to be on time, or early, the behind the scenes is not so commendable. In chapter 4: A sanctuary of time in One Thousand Gifts I read that....

Haste makes waste.
Life is not an emergency. Life is brief and it is fleeting but it is NOT an emergency.
The hurry makes us hurt.
Hurry always empties a soul.

God gives us time. And who has time for God?
"We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing." Psalm 39:6

Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.

ouch!

I just want time to do my one life well.

I can slow the torrent by being all here. This is where God is.

I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God.