Thursday, May 26, 2011

Painful Honesty

I feel the need to be perfect.  Not really perfect, but you know, without flaws.  I have an overwhelming feeling of shame when I make mistakes.  I need to learn to dance without shame.

I feel I have nothing of value to say.
Constructive criticism hurts.  I wish I handled it better, but there is always a small part in my fragile heart that takes it too personally. 

Yet, in order to grow, it hurts.  Right?  Growing pains, growing pains. 

Stress..."Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1  Stress brings no joy.  Tonight I have been pondering this from chapter 8

If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is an act of disbelief...atheism.

Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism.

If I deep trusted God in all the facets of my life, wouldn't that deep heal my anxiety, my self-condemnation, my soul holes?

70. Backseat laughter and special sibling moments

73. Smell of rain

77. A God who meets me where I am

78. A husband who loves me

80. Parents who taught me about God

93. Bubbles on a windy day

100. A homemade quilt

103. New recipes


All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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